some trouble

and then, just for now , we go forward one million steps. eugene, oregon. nineteen, i guess. one day, when it was starting to fall apart, i was at my eugene girlfriend's house (apartment). i was cheating on my real portland girlfriend jayne, but it didn't feel like i was doing anything bad. i was so hungry and anne made some cream of mushroom soup. she put some spices on top. it tasted so good. we had been fighting so bad, unhealthy like, it was cold outside and it was time to feel better. she might have fed it to me. i loved her so much in a weird and special way. she knew i was cheating. it didn't matter to either of us.

i lived on garden street. a dead end in west linn. my friends were the people that lived there by geography. it was my long pursuit to make my parents happy. eric had trouble with his ears. he had six surgeries, every time my dad gave him twenty bucks for being brave. he'd put it up in the light. eric's twenty bucks.

i got in trouble quite a few times over those years. once for pulling down my pants. once for wrecking my dad's toolbox. and that paint by number thing. it was a model of a ruby throated humming bird. i wanted to paint. i colored over the numbers. that turned out poorly.