guilded complexities

empty again/ run -on

i'm thinking in reverse again. i want to write so bad, but everytime i take off on a story, i realize that there are too many details and it is just too hard. so, i'm really not empty, but in fact, overwhelmed.
not the usual run-on sentence today...
instead, i cheat you with the run-on word. a lazy way of handing you my brains in a bucket. this will require fast typing skills and a sympathetic reader. concentration. insight! patience and understanding.

saturdaygoldrushlatenightstupidmoneykidstalktoomuchtoosmokeyonemoreshawnalambdriveeasyquitstartmedicinecashbrainshowerjohnnybeersongtakeittoolongnowgetbetterdadsicktreebirdlovetimesdaysneverforgetgoingshoppingmarytimecorriekidscleanamendmenttoolateseetoolatechocolatemarydrinktotownwithmoneyreversefenderbuycarhophopshopgrafittipickupliedown.

and another...

bashcrashstayalivethinkgodothinkcleanmoneydaysameorganizethoughtgamefreemasonsshawnalambweirdguysideasshootgocleanhappy.

fuckin' tasty shrimp bowl.
see, there's just too much. i'll move in reverse for awhile, and quiet this mess down. i wanted to give you something better...
r.

poster contest

no, im' not having one, but that doesn't mean i won't.
there was this poster contest when i was in about fourth grade. it wasn't a school thing, but i think i got the entry blank at school. make a poster about ecology, you know, save the earth.
i really wanted to do it, i guess.
we were trying to come up with slogans, you know i had this big piece of poster board, and my mom says "hey, how about SEWER SKIING CAN BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH? you could have a guy water skiing through a bunch of garbage."
everyone including myself thought that was a great idea. i drew a purposely simple, confined and mechanical profile of this almost stick figure guy skiing through a bunch of trash. i made the boat with three straight lines and ruler. it was a poster contest, and it was real. i knowingly dumbed down my artistic ability 'cause i didn't want anyone to see me so vulnerable. i could have actually drawn a good picture, but this was a poster contest, and it was real.
i lettered the slogan carefully.
well, what do you think?
my mom won! we went somewhere one night thereafter, i got a special shirt, and everyone got dressed up. i got a plaque and the local newspaper even took my picture. apparently, my mom's great ideas rock, is what i was thinking. it wasn't my claim.

now, when i re-examine the situation, i realize that we all won the poster contest. me and my mom and dad and eric. and i didn't even really draw.

a moment of honor for the greilings.

don't abandon me now, reader, it could be your loss! i will gather my thoughts and soon give you something better.
r

cook's choice

that's what the cafeteria menu says when you're in fourth grade and your crappy school lunch is
going to be especially crappy.
i want to write a story, but i simply have too much other shit to do. tonight is "cook's choice", and you get to write your own story.
here are the rules...
write about the first thing that comes to mind after you read this.
you must include the words, "innocence, intelligence", and "greed".
it has to be mostly true.
if you make a real commitment to writing, you can change some of the rules as needed.

do your best, thank you, and good luck! use whatever you have.

r.

narnia

there's this retarded kid that goes to my son's school. they call him "narnia", 'cause that's what he calls one of the girls, actually named "daria" or some shit. i pray that rory isn't one of the kids making fun of him. rory says narnia's smart in different ways.

narnia apparently loves to play basketball, but the other kids seldom play with him. he's always looking for a pick-up game. so, the other day, narnia comes up to rory and one of his hot-shot buddies looking for a game. rory's chum mason obliges. i hate to say it, but i think that they were looking for a laugh.

well, according to rory, mason's pretty good and he got a workout. he won eventually, but narnia 'bout liked to kick his ass. it would seem that narnia knows his way around a basketball court. smart in different ways...

now, i'm not a gambling man, but you can bet your ass that my money is on narnia in the future. i'm so glad that rory told me this story. it makes me think that he has his eyes open.

reader, never, ever, make the mistake of judging a book by it's cover. i have done so myself too many times now, and i can't explain to you my regret. there's nothing worse than trying to do your best and getting knocked down. some people do it over and over, everyday. give 'em a break. o.k.?

oh so r.

squandered

kedra

kedra misseldine. she was jane's teenage daughter, tony's sister. sometimes when i was about 6 or
7, and was was getting too sensitive to play with the rest of the guys, she would come and rescue
me. she knew i was bored and wanted to do something better than kick a football or whatever. i
always hated that sports shit that the other guys were so into.
she'd see me moping around and say, "hi dickie. do you want to keep me company?" she had shiny blonde hair and cool looking teeth that made her pretty. her room was a magical place full of things that grown-ups and little kids didn't have. teenage things. girl things. interesting projects and lots of stuff to do projects with. she had moccasins. of course i wanted to keep her company.
we'd go up to her room and she would engage my imagination with tales of high school life, or a fun thing you can make with pipe cleaners, paper, and glue. i'd tell her about how i got bored, and everyone was mad at me, and i could tell that she understood. i think i understood her,. too. she was a square, but not as square as the rest of her family.
kedra had a chain made of wrigley spearmint gum wrappers that hung on her wall. a long green zig-zag neatly constructed little by little. a testimony to her patience and love of making wonderful things. i think she tried to show me how to do it a few times, but it was just too hard.
she never got frustrated with me somehow. if i got bored or couldn't do something, we would just move on to something else. in that stage of my life, i liked to be with kedra best. they were special times never frequent enough to me. eventually, kedra went away somewhere, to college, i suppose, and i'd just hang out by myself when i got bored and everyone was mad at me.

i'd like to say that i have thought of kedra often since then, but it isn't true. as weird as this sounds, she went her way and i went mine.

my mom mentioned kedra the other night. i guess she is still alive and has a family and all that shit. she must be pretty old. i didn't really even listen, i don't know why. right now i'm wondering if she ever thinks about me, and if she would be disappointed. i may have been easier to appreciate when i was little.