kedra

kedra misseldine. she was jane's teenage daughter, tony's sister. sometimes when i was about 6 or
7, and was was getting too sensitive to play with the rest of the guys, she would come and rescue
me. she knew i was bored and wanted to do something better than kick a football or whatever. i
always hated that sports shit that the other guys were so into.
she'd see me moping around and say, "hi dickie. do you want to keep me company?" she had shiny blonde hair and cool looking teeth that made her pretty. her room was a magical place full of things that grown-ups and little kids didn't have. teenage things. girl things. interesting projects and lots of stuff to do projects with. she had moccasins. of course i wanted to keep her company.
we'd go up to her room and she would engage my imagination with tales of high school life, or a fun thing you can make with pipe cleaners, paper, and glue. i'd tell her about how i got bored, and everyone was mad at me, and i could tell that she understood. i think i understood her,. too. she was a square, but not as square as the rest of her family.
kedra had a chain made of wrigley spearmint gum wrappers that hung on her wall. a long green zig-zag neatly constructed little by little. a testimony to her patience and love of making wonderful things. i think she tried to show me how to do it a few times, but it was just too hard.
she never got frustrated with me somehow. if i got bored or couldn't do something, we would just move on to something else. in that stage of my life, i liked to be with kedra best. they were special times never frequent enough to me. eventually, kedra went away somewhere, to college, i suppose, and i'd just hang out by myself when i got bored and everyone was mad at me.

i'd like to say that i have thought of kedra often since then, but it isn't true. as weird as this sounds, she went her way and i went mine.

my mom mentioned kedra the other night. i guess she is still alive and has a family and all that shit. she must be pretty old. i didn't really even listen, i don't know why. right now i'm wondering if she ever thinks about me, and if she would be disappointed. i may have been easier to appreciate when i was little.